Things I Think About While Waiting in Line

How to Make Waiting Fun – As if you Had a Choice

I’m usually a patient person, except for those times when I’m running late for something which is a good percentage of the time.

If people are annoyed by my tardiness, they should know that I am usually equally annoyed.

When I procrastinate it’s usually on my own time; when I’m late, it’s usually because I’ve been waiting in line somewhere.

Is it me, or is this world getting more and more crowded? Life seems to be all about waiting, waiting and still more waiting – it seems we’re always hurrying just to wait in line.

A lot can go through a girl’s mind while waiting in line. What I think about depends, for the most part, on where I’m waiting.

Silently Fuming

For instance, once while waiting in line at the gas station, I remember thinking, “I hope this car doesn’t run out of gas before I get it to the pump. Is that idiot light getting brighter? Do they do that – do they get brighter?” That gas pump guy doesn’t look very strong; if this car has to get pushed to the pump, I guess he’s doing the steering. Gosh, what if he gets that gasoline smell on my seats?”

Sometimes it seems like the pump guy and the person in the car in front of me are on a date. They’re chatting away while my gas fumes are just floating into nonexistence – then my thoughts start to sound a little like this: “Come on lady. What could you possibly be asking this guy? Get the digits and go already.  Can we please move it along? Hello, I’m burning fumes here.”

[I guess my out-of-line, in-line attitude was your first clue – and probably the gas pump guy was your second; I’m a Jersey girl.  We don’t pump our own gas and attitude permeates the air here.  Sometime soon I’ll be sharing my theory on the attitude’s correlation to the size of the population … I was a lot nicer when I lived in the South.]

I’m not sure if I think like most people, but I do know that I think a lot faster than I speak which is pretty darn fast, and therefore, I get a lot of thinking done in lines. It may not always be useful thinking, but it does fill the time while I’m waiting in line.

The Conscious Shopper

When I’m at the grocery store waiting in line and I’m buying lettuce and low-fat salad dressing, I’m usually thinking, “Here I am, being good, making good choices and spending wisely,” as opposed to when I’m buying a pint of Haagen-Dazs and a bag of chips (because you can’t do the sweet without the salty), and I’m thinking, “This is going to be the time when Mr. Gorgeous Health Nut steps up right behind me, isn’t it? Gosh, can we get this line moving already, what’s the hold up?”

Most recently, I was on line at a department store buying a gift for my niece’s shower. Moments earlier I had another gift in hand, and there was no line at all.  In fact, I was the next in line – I was the line.  Then I had a brain hiccup and went to get something else instead.

After exchanging one idea for the other, I turned around only to find that there were now six people in line. “Are all those people together? Where did they all come from? Okay, those two are a couple I think and that lady is with her son, and he looks totally bored, by the way. Uh, lady, he’s crawling on the floor and he just picked up someone’s ABC gum (already been chewed). Ewww, he’s eating it. Should I say something?”

Without skipping a beat, I began eyeing the lady in front of me.  The next thought was, “Oh, where did she get that? I didn’t see those on display. Maybe I should get that instead. No, maybe I should just sit tight. What I have is fine. Is it hot in here, or what? Great, now I’m sweating like a pig. Does that lady have a return!!? Oh for goodness sake!  C’mon lady!  You obviously don’t have to work; do you have to do that on a Saturday? Really? Can’t you do this when I’m at work on Monday? Oh this sucks eggs!”

Scanning the Line

When I’m waiting in line, my brain is always working overtime. Some might call me paranoid, line-impatient and some might even say that I’m some sort of savant, but I like to just view it as being overly aware.

I guess part of me is actually paranoid too though, like the times when I worry that I’m expressing myself aloud when I think that I’m actually just thinking to myself. I scan the line up and down looking at the others waiting in line with me. I’m looking for any sign that I’ve just totally embarrassed myself unintentionally.

Inevitably someone in line gives me that tilted head, closed-mouth smile and they top it off with a nod, and then I wonder, “Did they just look at me like that because they heard me, or because they’re just being friendly? Is this line ever going to move?”

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One thought on “Things I Think About While Waiting in Line

  1. Hey girl,

    Don’t we both have June birthdays coming up or is it just mine coming up – I am getting old and can’t remember anymore – love your thinking while waiting in line – you should hear what I think

    Maria

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