“Ask LJ” – I Thought We Were Friends


Anger Management

Letting Go of Anger, Resentment and Feeling Betrayed

“Dear LJ”

I recently learned that a “good friend” that I’ve known for a long time was talking about me behind my back. I always knew she talked about people, and I was naïve to think that I would be exempt from this policy she had of appearing friendly to someone and then trashing them the second their back was turned. I’m angry – at her and at myself. I had always wondered why she seemed uncomfortable and even resentful when one of her friends and I would become friends; my attitude with friends has always been the more, the merrier. But in light of recent events, I see that it was because she would talk about one friend to the other. If we became friends, then maybe we’d start comparing notes – and when we did compare notes, she’d be found out for the backstabber she was. That’s exactly what happened.

Usually, her acquaintances would never share things she said, mostly because they didn’t want to hurt the other person. She’s smart, she knew this, and this is how she kept control over the situation and over all of us.

Often she does sweet and meaningful things like invite you over for dinner, invite you to parties she’s been invited to or just lending an ear when we had problems, but it was never consistent. It never had the flow of unconditional friendship that I enjoyed with others. She’d quickly turn and say mean and hurtful things and sometimes even use something you confided in her against you.

So what do I do? A part of me loves her since we’ve been friends for so long and I know she does have a sweet side sometimes. Another part of me wants to confront her, but knows it would be fruitless. And yet another part of me wants to make the decision once and for all to be rid of her negativity in my life. What should I do?

Signed, Betrayed and Bewildered

Go to LJInnes.com for the answer

Leave a comment ...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.